THE BULLIES OF GREENBLUD!! Falcon Quinn and his friends are monsters– a Sasquatch, a Chupakabra, a wind elemental, a Frankenstein– but now they confront the scariest challenge of all: 9th grade. Disguised as humans, Falcon and friends  are in a race against time to find five monsters hidden in a New Hampshire high school. An exciting adventure as well as a serious look at what it means to be differefalconquinn_book3jacket-smallernt–FALCON QUINN AND THE BULLIES OF GREENBLUD is a hilarious, moving look at bullies and the bullied, at monsters and humans, at boys and girls–and adults–of all kinds.

Available as a  Kindle book for a scant $2.99—  or in paper for $12.99.  All proceeds go to support anti-bullying projects at GLAAD.

That’s Falcon approaching, the Academy’s Zeppelin  in the skies above, an evil green Slime bubbling out of a barn in the background, and a new powerful adversary over his shoulder: CRUMPET THE FAIRY.

Also, please check out these first few pages of chapter one, entitled, “Up in the Air.”   Monster up!


I. Up in the Air

The Zeppelin drifted gently above the Berkshire Mountains, bearing its crew of aberrations.   Standing on the observation deck at the back of the blimp, Falcon Quinn’s wings fluttered in the summer breeze.  Everything was quiet in the world below.

“Dude,” said Max, a Sasquatch, coming outside from the Zeppelin snack bar.  “I got ya some cocoa.”

Falcon folded his wings so they lay flat across his back.  “Thanks, Max.”  He held the styrofoam cup of hot chocolate in his hands, and the warmth spread through his fingers. It felt good.

Max looked out over the horizon.  “This is so awesome!  Us up in the clouds!  Our lives—-“  He paused mid-sentence to raise the cocoa to his lips, and then  shoved the whole thing, cup and all, into his mouth.  Hot chocolate dripped down his Bigfoot face.  “—are unbelievably, amazingly great!”  Then he roared.  The sound of Max’s jubilation echoed on the green hills beneath them.

“Who’s doing all that shouting?” said Merideath, a prissy vampire.  “As if I didn’t know.”

“I’m drinkin’ hot cocoa!” shouted Max, in ecstasy.  “You should have some too!  It’s amazing!”

Merideath, dressed in black, rolled her eyes.  “Cocoa isn’t what I want to drink.”

“Bite me,” said Max.

“I’d like to,” said Merideath.

“Guys,” said Falcon.  The halo that shone around his head glowed blue.  “Let’s not fight.”

“Sorry, angel-face,” said Merideath.  “I’d hate to upset you. Who know, maybe you’d wind up scorching me with your laser-beam eye thing.”

“I’m not using that any more,” said Falcon.

“Pity,” said Merideath.

“Unless he has to, man,” said Max. “Unless a situation calls for totally drastic measures.”

Sparkbolt, a young Frankenstein, lurched out onto the observation deck.  “Rrrr,” he said.

“Hey, Sparky!” shouted Max.  “You want some cocoa?  We got donuts too.”

“Donuts bad,” said Sparkbolt.

“No, no,” said Max.  “Donuts good.”

Sparkbolt thought it over, then took a bite of one of the donuts that lay upon a golden platter.  Powered sugar coated the Frankenstein’s lips.   Sparkbolt looked at Falcon Quinn.  “Friend,” he said.

“I swear to god,” said Merideath.  “Being with him is like being with a three year old.”

“Yeah, dude,” said Max.  “A totally awesome, giant three year old who can rip peoples arms out of their sockets.”

“Rrr,” said Sparkbolt.

Mrs. Redflint, the Dragon Lady, came outside to join them.   She was the Dean of Students, back at the Academy for Monsters.  Their school, on an island in the Bermuda Triangle, was hundreds of miles behind them now.  They’d left the island at dawn the day before.

“Young people,” she said.  “I must insist that you stop making this disturbance.  Our cloaking device hides the Zeppelin from the eyes of humans.  But they can still hear one’s voice, if one is so careless as to indulge in needless roaring!”

“It wasn’t needless, Mrs. R,” said Max.  “I was totally grooving on some hot chocolate!  It’s got these awesome mini-marshmallows in it!  They make me happy!  Whoo, yeah!”  He roared again.

“Maximillian,” said Mrs. Redflint.  A small spurt of crimson flame shot out of her mouth.  “Go inside this instant.  And consider the consequences of your actions.”

“Okay, okay,” said Max, walking toward the door.  “I’ll consider the consequences of my enjoying this awesome cocoa, is what I’ll do.”

Mrs. Redflint watched him go.  “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going to do about that boy.”

“He’s not going to like being turned into a human,” said Falcon.

“Ugh,” said Merideath.  “Don’t talk about it.  It’s like a stake in my heart.”

“I don’t expect any of you to like it,” said Mrs. Redflint.  “But it is the mission you have accepted.  There is very important work to be done.  Lives are at stake!” Merideath cringed.  “That is, lives are— in the balance.”

Megan Crofton, a wind elemental, came onto the deck along with….   (to be continued…)

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  • Falcon Quinn is a new series from HarperCollins books about a young man who finds himself turning into a monster. Falcon and his friends find themselves taken to the Academy for Monsters, where they're taught how to imitate human beings, and thus survive in the world. Raising the question: What's the right thing to do-- to imitate something you're not, in order to survive? Or to embrace your true self, if your true self is, say, a zombie?

    The series is written by national bestselling author Jennifer Finney Boylan, and the artwork is by legendary book illustrator Brandon Dorman.