(all material © 2010 Jennifer Finney Boylan) Max was sitting on a beach chair watching the vampire girls play volleyball in their bikinis. The sun was setting over the sea behind them, bathing the girls in golden light. Around the bonfire to his right, a zombie girl named Mortia was playing her guitar.
Well the Sasquatch girls are hip I love their fur all splotched with crud; And the vampire girls, with the way they bite, They knock me out when they suck my blood. Egyptian pharoah’s daughter’s really make you lose your head, And the Frankenstien girls, with the bolts in their neck, They bring their boys back from the dead. I wish they all could be zombie mutants I wish they all could be zombie mutants I wish they all could be zombie mutant girls. Translyvania’s got the castles And the girls all get so pale When the sun goes down and all the banshees come out, They knock me out when I hear’em wail! The leprachaun chicks in Ireland, When they drink they get so smart, And the Chupakabras on the coast of Peru They put a stake right through my heart! I wish they all could be zombie mutants I wish they all could be zombie mutants I wish they all could be zombie mutant girls
Weems, the ghoul, came over and sat down next to Max and Pearl.
“Love Mortia’s tunes, man,” said Max. “You love this song? I do.”
“Is someone singing?” said Weems. “I hadn’t noticed.”
He looked discouraged.
“Senor Weems,” said Pearl. “Your spirits seem diminished!